Binmugahid is my friend and a reluctant poet. He prefers the possible poetry in 140 characters, and the smell and sight of shisha smoke to the microphone. Encouraged by our local community, he has now performed twice with the Dubai Poeticians and we sure hope he comes back for more, ups the ante, delivers more hardcore thoughts, does not self censor and finds a poetic voice within the storytelling. A brave man to put himself out there, I commend him on taking the time and energy to write poetics in a place many have given up on, opening up places within himself many keep shut, sharing with his community, many of them forgotten.
It’s not common that a poem has a
Table of contents,
but this one does
1-Explain your current situation
2-And then attempt justification.
3-Criticize yourself, brutally
4-In the process come to a realization
5-Perhaps mention the women
6-How they came and went
7-Explain the state of your heart,
8-In how many ways it was bent.
9-Ask if you are alone? Is this some lack of maturity?
10-Or it a curse of sorts, perhaps an ironic profundity?
11-Try to make sense of it all, see If this can be mended.
I’m in love again.
Suddenly, A woman walked into my life, and made all other women disappear
I gave up the former life, she gave me a vision that was clear.
I dreamt of love and lasting friendship, of dying in each others arms
I dreamt of the farm house, the cars and even the trap I’d setup for the mouse
I dreamt of plenty of boys and girls, playing in a garden with palm trees
I dreamt of everything, perhaps too much
of sneaking into the house for love making or maybe a home made brunch
she too was dreaming, in details like mine if not more
And then our dreams collided, when lady reality knocked our door
She came as a guest at first, quick visits here and there
But soon she became a regular, every minute she was there
She left something in the relationship, doubt, fear or mistrust
The sparks were now a bonfire, the breeze was now a gust.
She left us battling our own fears, of being betrayed, being lost into the other
She fooled us into thinking, if this doesn’t work out, we can always find another.
And then it all imploded the happy ending that was to come, was now no more.
Were there signs? Sure, there was plenty of writing was on the wall,
But we never cared to erase it, it was always the other person’s chore.
I’m now critical of love, jaded, insecure and unsure
And then a woman walks into my life, casually, unlike before
And I’m in love again
This is a woman I can adore, she has no dreams but me, No detailed plans, not even a country.
I find myself a new man, the object of all her affections
She tells me sweet things about me, that make me doubt my mirror’s reflection
I question her motives, her feelings, even her womanhood
No woman can be this sweet, nothing can be this good
I freak, I panic I get royally scared
I search for things that are wrong with her, things that are not even there
Things.. That I didn’t even care about before
So I disappear, I act weird, I go far when she comes near
I guess what was happening is that I was living in fear
Of being with her and hurting ones that I hold dear.
And then it exploded, publicly, like “never before” and I learned something about myself that I never knew
I love being in love
My macho self awakes and screams at me: what are you, who are you? You call yourself a man
I snicker and check myself down there, I concur, and yell: That I am
But a funny thing happens during the momentary inspection
That part of me looks back at me and makes a suggestion
Don’t look at me, Slave master
find a way to stop your heart from beating faster
And I laugh and I act like I’m in full control,
I’m a man; I can switch things on and off
I can suppress feelings I can bring them to the fore
And then…..I fall in love with love
For that I apologize, on behalf of men, on behalf of me
It’s not my fault that God created woman so magnificently.
A lot can be said about the shapely form, the hair and complexion
About the voice that makes a strong heart weak
The tears that science says has a negative effect on your erection
One could even talk about the ability to make a bad situation better,
Or turning sperm into beautiful babies or groceries into supper
Maybe I’m not alone in this, perhaps love is a drug, a pleasant interruption
The frequency of falling in love with love, is now getting dysfunctional
One after the other, one with another, two sometimes, at one time three
And then the effects of love overdose start to kill me.
I lose my belief in my ability to love thee
If this was love honey, why does some other girls smile, affect me?
It’s not that I don’t love or have never loved you.
But my heart tells me that I’m not the one that’s meant to be
Because, I’m in love again
Only this time, I’m not fooling myself
I am a fool for love, who’ll die alone,
a cherished or cursed memory hidden in another fool’s home.